where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize