He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
