We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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