I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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