She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
