id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is it because I queefed?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
