gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
