4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
