FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
