my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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