remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
