She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize