I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
this is an emotional support booty call
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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