He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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