i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
