it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
