Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
