I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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