it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
