So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
