Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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