i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just want to make out with him forever
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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