i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
