i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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