My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize