you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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