Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
