I think I am morally bankrupt
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
