somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
