i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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