For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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