I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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