Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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