What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
one might say we're banned from that church
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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