Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
