My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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