what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
