dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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