He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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