thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
