he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
