we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
