she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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