I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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