You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
