I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She said her name was "party"
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
