he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
