White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
