Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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