The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
