I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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