Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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