dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
