I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
