Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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