She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
