Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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