so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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